A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long, grey beard. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?"
"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man."
"Ok," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well, and entered the house.
Before dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young, beautiful, and had a fantastic figure.
She was obviously attracted to the young man since she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal.
Remembering the old man's warning, he ignored her and went up to bed alone.
But during he night, he could bear it no longer, and sneaked into her room for a night of passion.
He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear. Near dawn he crept back to his room, exhausted, but happy.
He woke in the morning with the feel of pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read, "Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest."
"Well, that's pretty crappy," he thought. "If that's the best the old man can do then I don't have much to worry about."
He picked the rock up, walked over to the window and threw the rock out. As he did so he noticed another note on it that read: "Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle."
In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting close to the end.
Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the rock.
As he plummeted downward he saw a large sign on the ground that read, "Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost. Hahahahaha... Abeg if you are the one, what would you do? Lol
There was commotion on Sunday at the United Methodist Church, Mafoluku, in the Oshodi area of Lagos as members of the church chased away their pasto for allegedly impregnating his housemaid. It was learnt that the pastor, Barkuma Andrew, was stopped from leading the church seven months ago when the housemaid, who was also a member of the church, Grace, had complications after aborting the pregnancy. Andrew had lived with his wife, children, wife’s cousin, Favour, and Grace in a three-bedroomed flat on the church premises before the incident. It was gathered that the members had petitioned the Central Conference of the church in Taraba State to investigate the alleged accusation. Then sought the service of another pastor three weeks ago when the district reportedly failed to probe Andrew. At 10 am on Sunday, members of the church showed up for Sunday service only to see that Andrew and some “unknown” people had commenced the service. This angered the congregation which proceeded to cha
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