A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long, grey beard. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?"
"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man."
"Ok," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well, and entered the house.
Before dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young, beautiful, and had a fantastic figure.
She was obviously attracted to the young man since she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal.
Remembering the old man's warning, he ignored her and went up to bed alone.
But during he night, he could bear it no longer, and sneaked into her room for a night of passion.
He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear. Near dawn he crept back to his room, exhausted, but happy.
He woke in the morning with the feel of pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read, "Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest."
"Well, that's pretty crappy," he thought. "If that's the best the old man can do then I don't have much to worry about."
He picked the rock up, walked over to the window and threw the rock out. As he did so he noticed another note on it that read: "Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle."
In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting close to the end.
Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the rock.
As he plummeted downward he saw a large sign on the ground that read, "Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost. Hahahahaha... Abeg if you are the one, what would you do? Lol
The exact birth of this extraordinary saint is historically unknown but we known from available records was that he was a Catholic priest during the reign of the Roman Emperor Claudius II during the 3rd century. The Roman Emperor Claudius II was involved in many bloody and unpopular war campaigns to get more men to join his army. He believed at the time that the reason why he was finding it difficult to get men to join the military was that the Roman men were very dedicated to their wives and family. As a result, Claudius forbid the rites of marriages and engagements in Rome. St Valentine was a priest in Rome during his reign. He and St Marius ignored the official order and performed secret marriages of some loving couples for this deed. He was arrested and dragged before the Prefect of Rome who condemned him to a Three part execution of beating, stoning and to be beaten to death with his head cut off. He is reputed to have suffered martyrdom having been beaten to death on the 14th ...
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