Stephenbenard's blog

Funny Nigerian Politicians... 1) When they loot money, they keep it in Switzerland. 2) When sick, they go to Germany. 3) When investing, they go to America. 4) When buying Mansions, they visit London. 5) When shopping they go to Dubai. 6)When on holidays, they visit Paris or Bahamas. 7) When educating their children, they select Europe. 8) When praying, they go to Saudi Arabia or Jerusalem. 9) BUT, when they DIE, they all want to be BURIED in NIGERIA..... I beg help me ask them, is NIGERIA A CEMETERY???

let’s take a look at some of our musicians in the music industry and judge, with their ways of life, the kind of students they would have made in school. TERRY G – One hell of a noise maker and beatboxer in the class. KOREDE BELLO – One very childish but handsome kid that senior girls take as school son. REEKADO BANKS – Joined the school and took the first position by surprise within some months. OLAMIDE – Causes commotion in every end of the year party for not given the first position. MAYORKUN – Took a test his first day in school and had the highest score, now all eyes on him. P-SQUARE – The twin brothers that are always causing trouble in the class. B-RED – Has all the textbooks in d world, has d opportunity to see question papers before exams, most comfortable boy in class, but still ends up carrying last after term exams. DAVIDO – Likes to brag about his father, flaunts wealth & brings a bottle of whisky in the class room everyday PHENOM – Very obedien...

A teacher was testing her students' intelligent level... "I saw a snake on my way home. Assuming you were in my shoes, what will you do?" asks the teacher. JAMES: I will look for stick and kill it! "That's smart of you James." says the teacher. "Robbers attacked me in my car and said, ''Your car keys or your life! Assuming you were in my shoes, what will you do?" asks the teacher again. JOY: I will give them the car keys and run for my life. Once there is life, there is hope. "Wow! That's so wise of you Joy." says the teacher. "I returned from work, opened my door and saw 50 million dollars on my bed. Assuming you were in my shoes, what will you do?" asks the teacher. AKPOS: I will bite your toes until you faint. I will then come out from your shoes and take all the money! TEACHER: Fool! You can't literally be inside my shoes. It's a figure of speech. AKPOS: You can't literall...

1. AMERICAN POLICE STYLE : Allow the thief to catch you, then you catch the thief. 2. CHINA POLICE STYLE : Chase the thief until he becomes tired then you catch him... . 3. ARAB POLICE STYLE : Kidnapp the thief's wife and then threaten the thief to surrender.. 4. INDIAN POLICE STYLE : Sing for the thief until he comes close to you, then catch them.. . 5. _______ POLICE STYLE : Catch any person on the street, beat him until he agrees that he's a thief. what is the missing word....??

GEORGE: KEVIN! Nice to see you. What's happening? KEVIN: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China. GEORGE: Great. Lay it on me. KEVIN: Hu is the new leader of China. GEORGE: That's what I want to know. KEVIN: That's what I'm telling you. GEORGE: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China? KEVIN: Yes. GEORGE: I mean the person's name. KEVIN: Hu. GEORGE: The guy in China. KEVIN: Hu. GEORGE: The new leader of China. KEVIN: Hu. GEORGE: The main man in China! KEVIN: Hu is leading China. GEORGE: Now why asking me for? KEVIN: I'm telling you, Hu is leading China. GEORGE: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China? KEVIN: That's the man's name. GEORGE: That's who's name? KEVIN: Yes. GEORGE: Will you, or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China? KEVIN: Yes, sir. GEORGE: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he's dead in Palestine. KEVIN: That's corre...

A lady walks into a pet shop, demanding for a parrot. The owner: "we have 2 types; one repeats everything u say, the other thinks for itself". The lady: "I think I'll like the one that thinks for itself". The owner brought out her choice & told her to quiz the parrot. "How do I look"? Quizzed the lady. "Like a prostitute" replied the parrot. "This parrot is rude. I won't buy it", said the lady. "Please give me a moment" replied the owner as he walked to the backyard with the parrot. He dipped the parrot into a bucket full of water & warned the parrot: "if u're rude to that lady one more time, I'll drown u in this bucket!" When the man came back to the counter, he told the lady "now ask the parrot anything u wish and I assure u, he will be polite". CONVERSATION. Lady: "if I come home @nite with a man, wat will u call this man"? Parrot: ur husband. Lady:...

Women are the most wonderful creature I have seen on Earth, but am yet to understand why some men are busy finding faults upon faults on them.Ok, lets look at them this way and tell me if am lying. (1) Women are the only creature that can change their original surname just for the sake of love. (2) They are most easiest creature to convince. (3)They are the only creature that loves from the bottom of their hearts. (4) They are the creature that can prefer to go to bed with an empty stomach, just to make sure that their children feeds well. (5) They are the only creature on Earth that cries very easily, just to expose their inward disposition. (6) They are always awake even at the dead of the night just to make sure that their children are protected. (7) They can even sell out their cloths just to buy food for their children, and also see them smiling. (8) They are always ready to sacrifice their lives just to save the lives of their children. (9) They are...